Attack Of The Parodies aka AOTP
by PrincessOfNaboo.SisterOfP
Summary: im not very good at summaries, so just r&r thank u...
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. The first chapter isn't my best, but please R&R. This is my first parody. I have written other stories, just under a different name. I am going to do a lot of parodies in the future so please tell me what you think and tell me how I could have made this better than it is. If you liked tell me and if you hate it tell me, and tell me if you thought it was so bad that you didn't even read the first sentence all the way through. Okay, I'm done taking up all your time. I'm just going to type my parody and stop this. Oh, and yes I do love SW and the characters, but this is really fun to do!

SW Ep.2 AOTP a.k.a Star Wars Attack of the Parodies:

Chapter 1:Anakin the Whiny Brat *what else is new!*

Obi-Wan: Anakin, come.

Anakin: Stop telling me what to do!

Obi-Wan: Anakin, I am your Master. You will listen to me when I tell you to do something.

Anakin *stomping in place*: You can't tell me what to do!

Obi-Wan: Oh, great. Now he's going to through a fit and whine until he gets his own way.

Anakin: I'm not throwing a fit or whining!

Yoda *walks in*: Stop whining you will.

Anakin *crying*:How many times do I have to tell you people?! I am not whining!

Obi-Wan: Anakin, stop crying!

Anakin *hysterically crying*: I am not crying!

Padmè *walks in*: Is he whining again?

Anakin: I am not whining!

Padmè: Anakin, stop it…now!

Darth Vader *appears*: Great, I'm whining again.

Anakin: You are, I mean, I am not, I mean…I'm confused! *starts crying again* Mommy! They're confusing me again! Make them stop!

Shmi: Go to your Father! You whine too much!

Anakin: I don't have a father…and I am not whining!

*Shmi whispers something to Anakin*

Anakin: Really?!

*Anakin runs over to Obi-Wan and attaches himself around one of his legs*

Anakin: Daddy!

Obi-Wan *glares at Shmi*: Anakin, I am not your Father and you are not my son!

Anakin: Don't lie Daddy.

Padmè * laughing*: Yes Father-In-Law, don't lie!

Darth Vader: I'm married to you?!?! Let's go to the bedroom!

Anakin: No, I want to go to bed with her!

Darth Vader: I'm married to her!

Anakin: No, I am!

Darth Vader: But I am you!

Anakin: If you're me, and I'm me, how are we both here??

*Darth Vader vanishes*

Padmè *whispers to herself*: Why couldn't Anakin be the one to disappear??

Anakin: Okay Padmè. Now that I'm gone, how about we go to bed?

Padmè: Is that all you ever think about?

Anakin *thinks for a moment*: Yes.

Padmè: I am not leaving this balcony! I refuse!

Anakin: Okay then, we'll do it right here.

*Anakin pushes Padmè to the ground and jumps on top of her pinning her to the balcony floor*

Padmè: Help! Help! Rape! Rape! Help! The whiny little brat is raping me!

*Obi-Wan and Shmi struggle to pull Anakin off of Padmè, it takes them a while, but they finally get him off of her*

Padmè: Thank you Obi-Wan.

*She walks over to Obi-Wan and kisses him on the lips, he widens his eyes and turns red*

Obi-Wan: So, Padmè--

Padmè: Yes! Yes!

Obi-Wan: Yes to what? What are you talking about?

Padmè: Yes, I'll go to bed with you!

Obi-Wan: That's not what I was going to ask you…but it works for me.

*Padmè starts to take her shirt off and Obi-Wan stops her*

Obi-Wan: Not on the balcony.

*Obi looks over at Anakin and Shmi then back to Padmè, she nods in agreement*

Shmi *snottily to Padmè*: Excuse me Padmè! But you are married.

*Shmi pushes Padmè over to Anakin*

Shmi *softly to Obi-Wan*: But I'm not.

*Shmi pulls Obi-Wan off to the bedroom while he is screaming for help and trying to get away*

TBC

Okay, I know that this chapter was terrible, but please tell me what you thought anyway if you were even able to make it all the way through the chapter. The next chapter should be up soon enough. I assure you, the next chapter will be much better than this was, and anything will be better than this chapter.


	2. AOTP chapter 2

Disclaimer: This may not make any sense if you didn't read the first chapter. It is better than the first chapter (like it could possibly be worse). Oh, and the whole reason the disclaimer is here: I don't own any of the characters, or the movie itself (unfortunately). Please R&R. 

SW Ep.II AOTP a.k.a Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Parodies

Chapter 2: Obi-Wan Kenobi MarriesPadmè Amidala

Padmè: I want a divorce!

Anakin: But I want you to go to bed with me!

Padmè: I will if you let me get a divorce.

Anakin: Really?! Yay!! Padmè is going to sleep with me!

*Padmè takes out divorce papers*

Anakin: How long have you been carrying those around?

Padmè: Since the day we got married, I just always forgot to give them to you.

*Anakin takes the papers from Padmè*

Anakin: If I don't sign them, will you still sleep with me?

Padmè: No!

*Anakin signs the papers*

Padmè: Yes! Now I'm not married to the little brat!

Anakin: Ok, come on Padmè. You have to sleep with me now.

Padmè: No I don't.

Anakin: You promised!

Padmè: Where's your proof? You don't have it in writing.

*Obi-Wan comes running out of the apartment*

Obi-Wan: Help! She raped me!

Padmè: Anakin and I are divorced.

Obi-Wan *excited*: Really?!?!

Padmè: Really.

Obi-Wan: Let's go to bed then.

Padmè: Come on.

~The next week~

Priest Person: If there is any reason that these two shouldn't be married, speak now, or forever hold your peace.

Shmi: I have a reason!

Priest Person: What is it?

Shmi: Obi, you can't marry her!

Obi-Wan: Why not?

Shmi: Because I love you…and I'm carrying your child!!

*Everyone gasps, except for Anakin*

Anakin: Cool! I'm going to have a sister!

Shmi: Brother.

Padmè: But I'm carrying his child too!

*Everyone gasps again, except for Anakin, again*

Anakin: Double cool! I'm going to have a son!

Padmè: It's a girl, and it's not even your child, its your fathers, so it will be your sister.

Obi-Wan: Anakin is not my son! And when were you people planning on telling me that I had two unborn children?!

Padmè: After the wedding.

Shmi: I was waiting until now because I wanted to ruin the wedding.

Anakin *crying*: I want to have a son or a daughter. It's not fair!

Padmè: But you have a son and a daughter that you ignore!

Anakin: I have two children?

Luke *runs in*: Mom, you cant marry him!

*Padmè hits her head*

Padmè: Is everyone purposely trying to ruin my wedding?

*Everyone looks at each other*

Everyone but Padmè and Obi-Wan: Yes.

Padmè: Anakin, this is you son Luke. Luke, this is your Father.

Luke: Daddy!!

Darth Vader *appears*: Luke, I am your Father.

Anakin: No, I am.

Darth Vader: Remember? I am you! Grow a brain!

Anakin: Ha, shows how much you know! You can't grow a brain.

Darth Vader *to himself*: Obviously you never did.

Anakin: What?

Darth Vader: Your brain grows before you're born, and as you get older.

Anakin: Uhh…

Luke: Who is my Father!

Anakin & Darth Vader *at the same time*: I am!

Anakin: Ha! Jinx, you owe me a soda!

*Darth Vader hits his head*

Darth Vader: No one in this room is in kindergarten.

Anakin: Ha! Wrong again! I am! So one person in this room is in kindergarten.

Luke: You're both wrong! I'm in kindergarten too! So there are two people in this room that are in kindergarten!

Darth Vader: Very good Luke, you can do math. Do you think you're ready to move up to first grade?

Luke: Yes!

Darth Vader: Well too bad, because you're not ready!

Priest Person: I did not come here to argue or to listen to people argue! Someone is getting married!! Who's it going to be?

Anakin: I want to marry someone!

Luke: I do too!

Anakin: Let's get married!

Luke: Okay Dad!

Padmè: Obi and I are getting married today!

Priest Person: Okay, let's do this the easy way. Do you take Padmè to be your Wife?

Obi-Wan: Yes.

Priest Person: And do you take Obi to be your Husband?

Padmè: Yes.

Priest Person: Okay, you're married. Kiss! Now! And get out of my church!

*Obi-Wan kissed Padmè, and the priest person rushed everyone out of his church*

Anakin: Padmè, you still have to sleep with me.

Padmè: No I don't. And anyway I'm pregnant.

Anakin: Fine! Luke and I will have a kid of our own when we get married!

Okay, I'm finally done with this. I think it was a little bit better than the first chapter, I don't know, hmm… Anyway, please tell me what you thought about this chapter, and the first one if you didn't review that. The next chapter will be up soon enough. I think it may be Anakin and Luke's wedding, that is soo not right, but, you know, whatever works. If you have any suggestions please tell me. Mesa tanken yousa for reading dis. I love my Gunganese, it's my first language. The English language is my second language. And the Wookie language is my third. But you don't need to know all this. I'm going to go get started on my third chapter. Bye for now!


	3. AOTP chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the character, or the movie. I love Star Wars, so don't think that I'm just some person that wants to ruin it. I don't believe in ObiDala, but, you know. What ever works for the story works. I don't believe that Anakin is gay either, or that he would marry his own son either. Please R&R, this chapter is funnier than the last, at least I think so.

SW Ep.II AOTP a.k.a Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Parodies

Chapter 3: Anakin Marries Luke (as in his son Luke)

*We are at the wedding of Anakin Skywalker and Luke Skywalker. Luke is wearing a suit and Anakin is wearing a dress (I wonder what Haden looks like in a dress??) the church is full of people. The priest is still aggravated from the last wedding that he did, which would be Padmè and Obi-Wan's.*

Priest Person *aggravated*: Do you, Luke Skywalker take Anakin to be your Wife? 

*He shortened the usual vows so that it would be less likely for one of them to back out or to stall the wedding*

Luke: Uhhh…Sorry, I wasn't listening to you.

Priest Person: Just say 'I do'.

Luke: You do.

*The priest hits himself on the head*

Priest Person: Just forget that I said that. Say you do.

Luke: I do.

Priest Person: Good. Do you, Anakin Skywalker take Luke to be your Husband?

Anakin: Umm…I do.

Priest Person *to Luke*: You may now kiss the bride.

*Luke French kissed Anakin. (eww!) Everyone in the audience turned away and made faces. Some people made disgusted noises.*

~At the Party After the Wedding ~(I forgot what it was called, if you know please tell me.)

*Anakin stands up on his chair and taps his glass with his spoon to get everyone's attention. He accidentally taps too hard shattering the glass, everyone turns to him*

Anakin: Thank you. Now that I have everyone's attention, I have an announcement to make. Everyone, I'm pregnant!

*Everyone was shocked. Padmè dropped her fork on the ground. One of the waiters brought Anakin a new glass with more champagne in it.*

Anakin: A toast. To me, Luke, and our unborn baby!

*Padmè went to bring her glass to everyone else's, but halfway to the table she dropped it, spilling champagne all over her lap and ruining her brand new dress.*

Obi-Wan: Padmè, are you alright?

Padmè: Yes, I am just really tired.

~At Luke and Anakin's House~

Anakin: Okay, sign the paper.

Luke: Umm…ok.

*Luke took out a paper and signed it*

Luke: Here.

*He handed Anakin the paper, which he also signed. Anakin put it in his pants (not even his pocket) and sat down. Padmè came running in through the door*

Padmè: Anakin, I want you.

Anakin: You want me to do what?

Padmè: I want you back. Anakin, let's go in the back and go to bed!

Anakin: I will not sleep with you.

Padmè *making a sad face*: Why not?

Anakin: Because you're pregnant and married.

Padmè: So are you.

Anakin: No I'm not.

Padmè: I'm not pregnant, I'm just married.

Anakin: Well in that case…Luke we'll see you later…

*Luke left and Anakin and Padmè went in the bedroom*

TBC

Okay…that was really bad, but I don't know what else to write. If you could give me ideas that would be great. If you give me an idea for this and I use it I will give you credit. Mesa be tanken yousa for reading dis. The next chapter will be up as soon as I get more ideas for the story. Bye for now. Oh, and I'm sorry that this was soo short. I just ran out of good ideas.


	4. AOTP chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or the movie itself. This chapter isn't the best chapter of the four. But I am running out of ideas. Please tell me any ideas that you have, I will give you credit.

SW Ep.II AOTP a.k.a Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Parodies

Chapter 4:

Anakin: What on Tatooine--

Padmè: Ahem.

Anakin: Sorry. What on Naboo is R2-D2 doing here?

Padmè: It's a free planet.

Anakin: Yeah, but, I mean. Why would he be on our balcony?

Padmè: I don't know, maybe he has a message for us.

Anakin: Please, why would he have a message for us?!

Padmè: Because you are a Jedi. 

R2-D2: Beep beep beep beep. Beep beep.

*R2-D2 put u a holo-message of Princess Leia*

Leia *as a hologram*: Help me! My plan--

Anakin: Boy, she's hot. I wonder if she'd go to bed with me.

*Padmè hit Anakin on the head*

Padmè: Anakin, she's your daughter.

Anakin: Really? Darn.

Padmè: R2, can you re-play that holo-message?

*R2-D2 re-played the holo-message of Leia*

Leia *as a hologram again*: Help me! My planet is under attack. I fear that Darth Vader is going to take over. But I also--

*Padmè hit Anakin on the head again*

Anakin: What was that for?

Padmè: That was for trying to take over a planet!

Jar Jar Binks *Walks in*: Mesa tanken yousa for savin mesa.

Anakin: But I didn't save you.

*Jar Jar starts to cry, and Padmè hits Anakin on the head again*

Anakin: What was that for?

Padmè: You hurt his feelings!

*Obi-Wan walks in*

Obi-Wan: Love. Love, above all things I believe in love. Love is a many splendid thing, love is like oxygen. All you need is love.

Padmè now as Natalie: Wrong movie Romeo.

Obi-Wan now as Ewan: Ha Natalie! I was Christian in Moulin Rouge. And there is no Romeo in the whole movie!

Natalie *kidding around*: I think I'm gonna have the baby right here, in Walmart!

*Anakin now as Hayden starts laughing as does Ewan. Jar Jar just leaves the room*

Hayden *also kidding*: I need a shower, and where's Jena when you need her?

*All three of them are now laughing*

Ewan: Can't breathe, can't breathe!

*Ewan breaks out singing the Barney theme song*

Ewan: I love you, you love me. We're a happy family. With a…how does the rest of the song go?

Hayden: Umm…Natalie, don't you watch Barney?

Natalie: I do not!

Ewan: Oh well…Hayden, come over here and kiss me! I'm just kidding…Natalie, my dearest friend…

Natalie: Help!

*Natalie starts to run away, but she is too late, Ewan goes over to her and French kisses her*

Natalie: Ewan!

Voice: Ahem!

*Everyone looks over to the doorway to see Ewan's wife standing in the doorway staring at Ewan with an angry look on her face*

Eve a.k.a Ewan's wife: Ewan! I saw you kiss her! She's half your age!

Ewan: Actually she's only ten years younger than me, and it was for a joke.

Eve: A likely story.

*Eve looks over to Hayden and starts to walk towards him*

Hayden: Help! Help!

*Eve grabbed his arm so he couldn't get away and French kissed him*

Hayden: Eww, gross lady. Don't you ever brush your teeth? And don't I have a choice in who I kiss?! I'm gonna go brush my teeth and try to get this nasty taste out of my mouth. Ewan, how do you kiss her?

Eve: He doesn't, he's too busy kissing this slut!

Hayden: Natalie is not a slut!

Natalie: I am not a slut, and Hayden you shut up. I can defend myself.

Voice: A census taker once tried to test me, I ate his liver with some father beans and a nice Chianti (I think that's how its spelled) *does thing he does with teeth*

Hayden: Ok, if you try to eat me I will hurt you…

Anthony: I take it this isn't the set for The Silence of the Lambs?

Natalie: Isn't that movie already out on video and DVD?

Anthony: Yes, I just wanted to come here and join the party.

Ewan: How did you know we were arguing? 

Anthony: Great actors and actresses always argue with the bad ones.

Ewan: Why thank you. I always considered myself a good actor, but never a great one.

Anthony: I wasn't talking about you.

Natalie: I guess I am a pretty good actress.

Anthony: What is with you people? Both of you are horrible at acting!

Hayden: Are you talking to me?!

Anthony: Yes, and I pity you for having to work with these terrible people.

*Nicole Kidman comes in*

Nicole: Where's my daughter? What did you do with my daughter?

*She goes over to Hayden and starts shaking him*

Hayden *in a very high pitched voice*: I am your daughter!

*Everyone starts to laugh, George walks in*

George: I leave you people alone for ten minutes and you throw a party!

Everybody out!

Okay, so this chapter definitely is not the best. And all the movies and people I added in towards the end I also don't own, sorry I didn't put it in the beginning, but I wasn't planning on doing it. And I am still desperately looking for ideas. Mesa be tanken yousa for readin dis. 


	5. AOTP chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the character or the movie/movies. I need more ideas for this story. Please R&R. If you give me an idea I will give you credit for it. This chapter is probably going to be very short. I'm sorry for that. This chapter will also be the last chapter for AOTP. The sequel for it will be titled AOTM and it can be found under crossovers, subject parodies once I am done with the first chapter. I'm going to get to typing this chapter so that I can work on the first chapter for the sequel.

SW Ep.II AOTP a.k.a Star Wars Episode II Attack of the Parodies

Chapter 5:The Last Chapter

George: Get back to practicing!

Hayden: Okay.

*Hayden grabs Natalie and French kisses her*

Natalie: Hayden! What is your problem!

Hayden: He said to practice.

Natalie: That's not even the right scene! We don't kiss until scene nine! (nine is just a number that I put in, I don't think that's the real number.)

Hayden: Okay then. Let's practice scene nine.

Natalie: Okay.

*Hayden French kissed Natalie again*

Eve: I knew she was a slut!

Natalie: I am not!

*Natalie starts to cry*

Eve: You're a crying slut.

Natalie: I am not, I am not, I am not!!!

Hayden: Who's whining now!

George: Eve, get off my set!!

*Eve walks off the set, Hayden and Natalie are arguing. George leaves quitting for the day*

Hayden: I'm sorry, Natalie. Will you go out with me.

Natalie *still pouting*: Yes.

Ewan: Hey no fair! I want Natalie to go out with me!

Natalie: You're married.

Ewan: So?

Natalie: I'm going out with Hayden.

Ewan *to himself*: This always gets them.

*Natalie and Hayden start to leave*

Ewan: Wait.

*They turn around to look at him. Ewan starts to sing*

Ewan *singing*: 

My gift is my song,

And this ones for you.

And you can tell everybody,

That this is your song.

It may be quite simple, but

Now that it's done.

Hope you don't mind,

I hope you don't mind.

That I put down in words,

How wonderful life is,

Now you're in the world.

Sat on the roof,

And I kicked off the moss.

Well, some of these versus well, they,

They got me quite cross.

But the sun's been kind,

While I wrote this song.

It's for people like you,

That keep t turned on.

So excuse me forgetting,

But these things I do.

You see, I've forgotten

If they're green,

Or they're blue.

Anyway, the thing is,

What I really mean.

Yours are the sweetest eyes

I've ever seen.

And you can tell,

Everybody,

That this is your song.

It may be quite simple, but,

Now that it's done.

I hope you don't mind,

I hope you don't mind.

That I put down in words,

How wonderful life is,

Now you're in the world.

*Natalie turns to mush (who wouldn't?)*

Natalie: Sorry, Hayden. I'm going to go out with Ewan.

Hayden: What?! Just because he sang a stupid song?

Natalie: Yes.

*Hayden thinks for a moment, then starts to sing*

Hayden *singing*:

My gift is my song,

And this ones for yo--

*Natalie and Ewan cover their ears and run away. Hayden just stands there.*

Okay, that was the last chapter. The sequel for it will be titled AOTM and it can be found under crossovers, subject parodies once I am done with the first chapter. I'm putting the sequel there because I am going to bring other movies into it. Hey! Tell me what you thought if you were able to make it all the way through this. An mesa be tanken yousa if yousa did. Bye for now.


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